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Post by surveypunk on Dec 7, 2015 11:14:09 GMT -5
A chess tournament was scheduled at the Metroplex in the city. Chess aficionados came from all over, most staying at The Ritz downtown. They had all congregated in the lobby waiting for the shuttle bus to take them to the arena. They were comparing notes, talking about the matches they'd won, and discussing their winning moves. Generally getting louder and louder as the crowd grew.
All of a sudden the hotel manager came into the lobby and shouted,
"You all have GOT to leave, NOW!"
One asked,
"But why? We're just talking about our passion."
The manager replied,
"I can't abide chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
G'night Gracie,
JB
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2015 11:28:55 GMT -5
GROAN!!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2015 11:41:44 GMT -5
Permit me,
GROAN!
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survey in-cog-negro
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Post by survey in-cog-negro on Dec 7, 2015 12:37:15 GMT -5
Everybody's a critic!
Pardon me while I whip this out:
A Christmas Tradition
It was a starry night and the snowflakes drifted down gently. The snowcrust sparkled in the lamplight at the North Pole. Sleigh bells jingled in the distance. It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn't.
Santa was really pissed off. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The elves were bitching about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys. And to top it all off, the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were completely useless. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners. They were still stumbling around outside, giggling and shaking their sleigh bells. Santa was redder than usual with anger. He drank another slug of scotch, and then bellowed, "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk, my elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! AND I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What the HELL am I going to do?"
Just at that moment, the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind him. He said, "Yo, Santa, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year?" And thus the tradition of angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2015 14:39:44 GMT -5
Now that was funny.
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